18 August 2016Trapped. A strong woman’s triumph over abuse is Capetonian Sam Scarborough’s diary, now published as a book. Her story – a confident and financially secure woman stuck is an emotionally abusive relationship – is meant to give hope to other women trapped in the same situation.Her diary, a despairing attempt to remain sane, tells the story of her moving toLondon with her daughter to be with her new partner. It chronicles how her lovestory, “suddenly changed and how she started to doubt herself, because accordingto him, everything was her fault”.Harrowing as her journey is, the book ends on a high note: “The good news isthat she got out of the toxic relationship – and so can you.”The abuseEmotional abuse is difficult to define, Scarborough says. Now, given herexperience, she understands what verbal abuse is. “There were words said to me,even if they were later denied. It was something concrete to hang on to, especiallybecause I wrote those words down in my diary.”Despite a mountain of research, it remains a difficult form of manipulation topinpoint. Unlike physical abuse, which leaves bruises and scars, the damage ispsychological. The pain more difficult for others to understand. “I certainly knowwhat it felt like for me, which is detailed in the diary I wrote, which became thebook.”Her writing processWriting a book about her personal experience was not easy. “It was frustrating,painful and hard to relive what I had gone through,” says Scarborough.The difficulty for Scarborough was to remain true and not glamourise theabuse. Exposing the worst of her life experience was also extraordinarily painful. “Ittook me a few months to write the actual book in the end. I wrote most nights afterwork, late into the night, transcribing all my notes and entries.“It was like reliving a nightmare. The patterns and cycles became boring, evento me. I was so frustrated with my own diary entries that I almost gave up onfinishing the book. I didn’t like the way I sounded, the way I acted, or the things Iwas saying – some parts actually made me cringe.“But, I decided to leave it all in, as that was my truth of what I went through,and there didn’t seem much point in glamourising it, or taking out the harduncomfortable parts.” Writing about her personal experience was difficult, says SamScarborough. (Image: NB Publishers)Being in a bad relationshipHer relationship, and her writing journey gave her a new perspective on thechoices people make in their relationships. “In the past I used to be extremelyfrustrated with friends who were in bad relationships, either of abuse, orrelationships that brought out the worst in them.“I just could not understand why my friends would not leave or could not leave.I had no idea what it was like to be in a bad relationship.”She says she had very little empathy for these friends of hers. “I eventuallyjust gave up on them.“I would like to think I will be a better friend now with a lot more understanding.I told my story to help others, not because I wanted to tell the story. And if this book can help just one person to free themselves, then I am glad it was published.”Returning to Cape TownScarborough says she would have loved to stay in London. “I have lived therebefore and still have loads of friends there.“But it wasn’t possible at the time. Coming back to South Africa was hard. Itfelt like a failure,” she confesses. “My apartment was rented out and we [she andher daughter] had nowhere to live. It was however the best decision I made, to putdistance between me and the situation I had got myselfinto.“It was a good break, something final. The decision to get on that plane andleave was not easy, as I was being promised the world, but it definitely got me outof the downward spiral I was in.”Scarborough, a graphic designer, art- and creative director, is also the author ofseveral children’s décor books like Children’s Rooms, CoolSpaces for Kids and Creative Rooms for Your Kids.Her book Trapped was recently published by NB Publishers.Simbongile MenteSimbongile Mente started writing Africa’s Daughters late in 2012.Three years later her book documenting the stories of women she mentored wascomplete. The women Mente wrote about are from the township Kayamandi in theStellenbosch area. Student pastor Mente launched her book last September at herchurch, the Apostolic Faith Mission of South Africa.The book explores the lives of 12 women, including herself. “I address issues like modern day slavery, molestation, low self-esteem, and your identity as a woman.”There are women like Thembi, the oldest of four sisters, who lost her motherwhile she was in high school.“Thembi’s father couldn’t afford to pay for all of their fees. She ended updropping out of school in grade 10. She took on two jobs to help her dad butthrough all of that she was disciplined. Thembi didn’t give up on her dreams andwent back to school. She is now studying nursing, just as her mother did,” explainsMente. Simbongile Mente documents the lives of 11 women and how theyovercame their challenging situations. (Image: Trudy van Rooy)The book’s titleMente says she wrote Africa’s Daughters to bring hope and encouragement to women in Africa and all over the world. “I decided on the title Africa’s Daughters because I was working with African women – engaging, empowering and mentoring African women. I was getting a personal look on their everyday lives.”She says publishing these kinds of stories raises awareness of the struggles ofwomen and, she hopes, to give the next generation a roadmap to avoid the samehazards. “It is important to inform our people so that they can be better equipped incommunicating these issues to their families. Families make up communities.“Africa’s Daughters’ message is one of hope where tragic situations can be turned into a message of light and transformation to this nation and Africa,” she advocates.More about MenteMente has a B. Tech degree in Public Relations and a BA degree in Theology.She started to write in high school to deal with her own low self-esteem anddepression. She started writing a journal filled with thoughts and emotions whichlater developed into poetry.Her friend Trudy van Rooy submitted one of her poems, All hope is gonefrom her, to a writing competition initiated by Africa’s Institute. “I was oneof the semi-finalists and my poem was featured in their book VenturingVistas,” says Mente. “I never stopped writing. I wrote poems and letters toGod, and still do during my meditation time.”Would you like to use this article in your publication or on your website?See Using SouthAfrica.info material
A Kolkata-born carpenter, based in Assam, is the first victim of the National Register of Citizens in south Bengal. Ashgar Ali, 50, born in the Park Circus area of central Kolkata, has been incarcerated in a west Assam detention centre for an anomaly in his father’s name. Family members in Kolkata furnished various papers on June 2 to establish that Mr. Ali was born in Kolkata.For nearly two years Mr. Ashgar Ali alias Sheikh Ashgar has been jailed in Goalpara detention centre, following an anomaly in his father’s name.Unusual surname“Our father’s name is Sk Moral. But since Moral is an unusual surname and he was often questioned if he is actually a morol (village head), he changed his name to Md Jarif. Hence, some of the papers identify him as Sk Morol, while some as Md Jarif,” explained Arshad Ali, his younger brother. While Mr. Jarif filed an affidavit in a Judicial Magistrate court in the city in December 2015, declaring that he is a Kolkata-born Indian national, his son was detained in Guwahati on July 14, 2017 for the difference in his father’s name.“Ashgar Ali’s son is in Class VIII and wife is suffering from acute arthritis…they are in a terrible situation. The problem occurred as the family is entirely uneducated,” said Zishan Ali, a close relative of Mr. Ashgar Ali, from Guwahati.Three years“We hear that that according to the Court order, if his foreign nationality cannot be established in three years, he will be released. But for one’s father’s mistake, is it reasonable to detain a person for three years?” asks Mr. Zishan Ali. Mr. Ashgar Ali, who has working in Assam for over two decades now, has been jailed in the Goalpara detention centre in west Assam. But it is “actually Goalpara district jail,” said Mr. Zishan Ali.Mr. Ashgar Ali’s parents and other family members live in abject poverty in a Park Circus slum in central Kolkata. His two brothers work as tailors, while the 83-year-old father suffers from a stomach tumour. The mother, Jubeda Begum, is frail and losing sight in both eyes. She cried incessantly while talking about his son. The family is worried about the fresh NRC in Bengal. “We have done everything that is possible to rectify the arbitrary name change of our father. But could you tell us what else we should do to ensure that the entire family does not go to jail like our brother, if NRC is indeed started in Bengal?” asked Afrin Begum, one of Mr. Ashgar Ali’s four sisters.
BREAKING: Cop killed, 11 hurt in Misamis Oriental grenade blast Every 18 seconds someone is diagnosed with HIV Don’t miss out on the latest news and information. Stallion, Ilocos eye breakthrough triumphs LATEST STORIES BREAKING: Cop killed, 11 hurt in Misamis Oriental grenade blast Sports Related Videospowered by AdSparcRead Next Pagasa: Storm intensifies as it nears PAR BACOLOD CITY—On its home turf, Ceres-Negros has looked unstoppable in the 2017 AFC Cup.But the Busmen face their toughest test when they try to overturn a 2-3 deficit against Johor Darul Ta’zim (JDT) of Malaysia in the second leg of their AFC Cup Asean zonal semifinal tie at Panaad Stadium here.ADVERTISEMENT Cayetano dares Lacson, Drilon to take lie-detector test: Wala akong kinita sa SEA Games Palace: Duterte to hear out security execs on alleged China control of NGCP The Busmen beat Tampines Rovers (5-0) and Hanoi FC of Vietnam (6-2) in the group stage, but the stakes are higher and the opposition is expected to be stronger when the Malaysian champions line up against the home side at 7:30 p.m.“The team is motivated to win so we are not under pressure,” said Ceres coach Risto Vidakovic from Serbia. “I think it’s a big challenge to play this game and the opportunity also to reach something. It’s a special motivation for us if we can reach the final.”FEATURED STORIESSPORTSSEA Games: Biñan football stadium stands out in preparedness, completionSPORTSMalditas save PH from shutoutSPORTSPrivate companies step in to help SEA Games hostingThe Busmen will welcome first leg scorers Fernando Rodriguez and Bienvenido Marañon, while midfielder Manny Ott, still hurting from a chest injury in the first leg last May 17, is also in the squad to rekindle his battle with JDT talisman Safiq Rahim.With the away goals rule in play, the Philippines Football League side only needs a 1-0 victory over the Malaysian champions to advance to the next round, where they will face the winner of the Home United-Global Cebu tie being played Tuesday night in Singapore. MOST READ Lacson: SEA Games fund put in foundation like ‘Napoles case’ View comments BSP survey: PH banks see bright horizon amid dark global recession clouds Panelo suggests discounted SEA Games tickets for students PLAY LIST 01:35Panelo suggests discounted SEA Games tickets for students02:49Robredo: True leaders perform well despite having ‘uninspiring’ boss02:42PH underwater hockey team aims to make waves in SEA Games01:44Philippines marks anniversary of massacre with calls for justice01:19Fire erupts in Barangay Tatalon in Quezon City01:07Trump talks impeachment while meeting NCAA athletes
Gilas Pilipinas arrived to a welcome fit for heroes on Monday night with coach Yeng Guiao and rugged forward RR Pogoy embracing the adulation even if their luggage was lost in transit.“It might have been left in Dubai or wherever, but I don’t care. I will never forget this experience,” Pogoy said in Filipino at Ninoy Aquino International Airport, where a small crowd of well-wishers cheered loudly for Guiao, who steered the Filipinos to two overseas wins and back to the Fiba World Cup that will be held in China later this year.ADVERTISEMENT Trending Articles PLAY LIST 00:50Trending Articles00:50Trending Articles00:50Trending Articles02:42PH underwater hockey team aims to make waves in SEA Games01:44Philippines marks anniversary of massacre with calls for justice01:19Fire erupts in Barangay Tatalon in Quezon City01:07Trump talks impeachment while meeting NCAA athletes02:49World-class track facilities installed at NCC for SEA Games02:11Trump awards medals to Jon Voight, Alison Krauss The Philippines was the seventh qualifier from Asia, joining host China, Australia, New Zealand, Jordan, Japan and Iran in the 32-nation main draw which the Chinese will host in eight cities from Aug. 31-Sept. 15.“I know our countrymen didn’t waver in their faith, and our National team didn’t let them down,” said PBA commissioner Willie Marcial, who traveled to both Doha and Astana together with members of the board to support Gilas.Sports Related Videospowered by AdSparcRead Next As title defense starts, Cangolf starters remain a mystery Don’t miss out on the latest news and information. Urgent reply from Philippine football chief SEA Games hosting troubles anger Duterte ‘We are too hospitable,’ says Sotto amid SEA Games woes US judge bars Trump’s health insurance rule for immigrants “We all know that Filipinos love basketball so much,” Guiao said. “This is our gift to them.”Gilas pulled off victories over Qatar and Kazakhstan in a three-day span, shrugging off the effects of long plane rides and varying weather to punch one of the last World Cup tickets reserved for Asia.FEATURED STORIESSPORTSPrivate companies step in to help SEA Games hostingSPORTSUrgent reply from Philippine football chiefSPORTSPalace wants Cayetano’s PHISGOC Foundation probed over corruption charges“What we did took a lot from us,” point guard Jason Castro said in Filipino. “The plane trips were tough, the climate was difficult to handle, and almost straight from the (Kazakhstan) game, we had to go to the airport [for the flight to home].“But it’s all worth it, seeing that our countrymen are happy,” he added. Oil plant explodes in Pampanga town PDEA chief backs Robredo in revealing ‘discoveries’ on drug war Grace Poe files bill to protect govt teachers from malicious accusations LATEST STORIES Private companies step in to help SEA Games hosting MOST READ View comments
Tottenham captain Hugo Lloris: We gave upby Paul Vegas23 days agoSend to a friendShare the loveTottenham captain Hugo Lloris says the players let the club down last night.Mauricio Pochettino’s side were obliterated 7-2 by Bayern Munich, who scored five goals in the second half of the group game on Tuesday night. “I feel really bad for the fans mainly because we gave up a little bit too easily and the score was even worse,” Lloris said.”It is a night that affects a lot. Now it’s about character, clearing the mind.”The next two games against Red Star will become even more important, we cannot lose any more points.” About the authorPaul VegasShare the loveHave your say
Ohio State then-freshman right fielder Dominic Canzone bats in the bottom of the seventh inning against North Carolina Greensboro. Credit: Edward Sutelan | Editor in ChiefUnproven talent has the potential to either burst onto the scene or fall to the wayside.The 2019 Ohio State baseball team’s success will depend on the play of its inexperienced but talented pitching staff and veteran players. The new-look team will try to build on its 36-24 record and NCAA Tournament berth from last season.In the 2018 campaign, the Buckeyes had a plethora of experienced arms to put on the mound. Three of the team’s starters and the closer were upperclassmen. The five most-used pitchers from last season, three of which had the lowest ERAs on the team, have moved on from the program, but the openings in the rotation will give younger players the opportunity to prove themselves this season.“As a coach, I am really excited about the talent level that we’ve got with the pitching staff,” head coach Greg Beals said. “[I am] apprehensive about the fact a lot of them don’t have a track record.”Among the Buckeyes’ more battle-tested pitchers are junior Jake Vance and sophomore Griffan Smith, both of whom logged more than 30 innings pitched in 2018.Along with Smith and Vance, sophomore catcher and captain Dillon Dingler said redshirt freshman Seth Lonsway and freshman Garrett Burhenn were among the best pitchers he has ever caught and been with.“They have a lot of confidence in themselves, a lot of poise when they are on the mound, so it should be good,” Dingler said.But Beals noted that the entire load is not on the pitching staff.“We’ve got some experience in that infield,” Beals said. “We’ve got to play good defense to support that young pitching staff.” Beals said the infield will likely consist of junior first baseman Conner Pohl, senior second baseman Kobie Foppe, junior shortstop Noah West and freshman third baseman Zach Dezenzo.Foppe, who had a .335 batting average in 2018, was a key contributor to last year’s team, which posted the most runs scored in Beals’ eight-year stint with the team.But utility Noah McGowan is no longer on the roster after posting a team high .351 batting average. Outfielder Tyler Cowles, who posted a .322 batting average, has also graduated from the program.Even with the loss of such offensive weapons, junior outfielder and captain Dominic Canzone said the team is confident it can continue the offensive momentum from last season.“They were huge pieces, obviously, last year, but we have other guys that are going to step up,” Canzone said. “Then obviously, some of our leaders can produce more. Just top to bottom I feel really strong about our hitting in our lineup.” The leaders of the team will be a crucial component of developing a young team. Dingler said it will be important for the older players to make sure the younger guys remain even-keeled throughout the season.“Just sticking behind guys,” Dingler said. “Baseball is a very tedious sport. You go through a lot of lulls. Go through a lot of highs and lows. Just sticking with kids. Making sure they are not getting too high, not getting too low. Leaving them alone too. Helping them out when they need help.” Canzone emphasized the need to stick together and respond positively to adversity in order to successfully navigate the season.Supporting one another is something that Dingler feels will come easily and propel them forward throughout the season.“I think we’re really close this year,” Dingler said. “Like Dom [Canzone] said, the brotherhood is very close this year. We’re always together at the field and off the field. I feel like us having each other’s back and us bonding together will really set us apart this year.” The team’s confidence is evident in its goals for this season, viewing the previous season as a leaping-off point.“The biggest thing for us is winning regionals this year, making a super, and winning a Big Ten championship,” Canzone said.Ohio State will open the season Friday against Seton Hall in the Snowbird Baseball Classic in Port Charlotte, Florida.
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